All job-hunting correspondence is important, but the letter you send your friends is absolutely critical.

Here's why: When you're in a job-hunt you're selling personal services--what you can do--something intangible. People buy services based on trust. Marketing personal services is not like marketing a product. Shoppers buy products knowing they can return them if dissatisfied. But companies can't return employees who fail on the job. They have to terminate them and start over, both of which are costly. That's why employers are so cautious.

Crucial hiring decisions are generally made by a team. Key managers meet to define the duties and responsibilities and decide what sort of person they want. Then they ask, "Who do we know that could fill this slot?" Most of the time, someone in the group knows someone. That candidate is interviewed first, given preferential treatment, and usually hired.

The moral of the story is that managers hire their friends--known quantities, not shots-in-the-dark. No one likes to hire strangers--there's too much at stake. One wrong employment decision can ruin a manager's career.

It means your next job is probably going to come from one of your personal friends or business acquaintances--or else from one of their friends. Not from a recruiter. Not from a newspaper ad. Not from knocking on doors or pounding the pavement.

Your friends are your strongest marketing allies. That's why it's important to involve them in your campaign, not just notify them. Most job-seekers simply call and say, "I've lost my job. Let me know if you hear of anything." The friend says, "Sure I will." And that's the end of it. The phone never rings. Friends want to help, but they have to know exactly what kind of help you need. Tell them in a "friendship letter."

When I say "friends," I mean "everyone you know." Not just your closest friends, but anyone who knows your name. I mean your contact network, both personal and business--especially people you've worked with on projects. Begin your marketing campaign by making a list of your friends. Use the following checklist to help you remember names. Record all names. Don't prejudge people, guessing which ones can help you (you'll often be wrong). Don't rule anyone out prematurely.

Go as far back as high school, even grade school. List your old college classmates and roommates. Look at your Christmas/Chanukah card list. Write names until your mind goes blank. Then stop and rest, and begin again.

Many job-hunters resist doing this exercise. They don't see the point. They find it time-consuming and come up with a variety of objections, like these:

The following stories show the importance of collecting the names of friends, even if it doesn't make logical sense.

It doesn't matter where your friends live

Ken Granger was a senior data processing manager in Denver. He wanted to relocate to Dallas because his wife had family there. I asked Ken to list his friends so he could send them something. He resisted doing the assignment.

His reasoning went like this: "All my friends live in Chicago. I want to work in Dallas. Why should I write to people who can't help me?"

Finally, after three weeks, Ken made his list. We sent a letter, and guess what? One of his contacts in Chicago had a brother who was president of a data processing company in Dallas. Ken flew down to interview and was hired. That's the kind of thing that often happens in networking.

 



"You never know how many friends you have until you rent a place at the beach."

Quoted by Wayne Norris in
You Don't Have to Be Crazy to Work Here...But It Sure Helps
(Price/Stern/Sloan).



 

Don't guess who your friends are

I've seen hundreds of people contact their network to ask for help, and I see two patterns.

First, friendship letters always work. You get some positive response from some of your friends. That's a big boost when you're feeling down. Second, it's impossible to accurately predict who will help you and who won't. You'll be wrong 50 percent of the time--maybe more.

It's interesting, and sometimes disconcerting, to find out who can be counted on when you need a helping hand. Some of your "dearest friends" will let you down, and some people you have written off will come out of the woodwork and shower you with badly needed love and attention.

I contacted my friends--especially former clients--in writing this book. I was announcing the project, asking for permission to use their materials, and looking for advice and ideas. I was reaching out for support.

I was surprised at the positive responses. They really lifted me and made me feel the whole project was worthwhile. There was one letter I will never forget.

Kay Tubbs said, "My advice: Go for it! It's perfect. I would buy it (and recommend it) in a heartbeat. It would also solve a personal problem I have, of not being physically close enough to utilize your services. (It's probably a good thing--I'd be tempted to mortgage the house to hire you as a permanent 'life consultant.')" That felt really good.

You'll find that most of your friends will help you, too, and their heartfelt response may surprise you.

I've always encouraged clients to contact their friends to ask for advice and ideas. They used a variety of letters, and I'm certain many of them worked. But one day in a workshop, I found the ultimate "friendship letter." It was a work of art.

The tone was right: It was warm and friendly and not too pushy or boring. It made you want to help.

I began distributing Dale Kreeger's letter in my classes. Students used it as a guide. (As you will see, many of the letters in this book incorporate some of Dale's words.) Dale was an accountant in a large oil company. At age 55 he was asked to take early retirement before he was ready.

The "friendship letter" penned by Dale Kreeger may be one of the best job-hunting letters ever written, because it can be modified slightly and used by nearly everyone. Dale first sent his letter to friends to look for a "real job." When he decided to go into business for himself, he rewrote the letter to sell consulting services. Many letters on this website borrow words from Dale.

Since this collection was first published, several English teachers have sent me copies of Dale's letter dripping in red ink. They claim it's full of grammatical errors, and fault me for publishing it as a good example. They're correct: it's not grammatically flawless. However, the thoughts and feelings come through, and that's what sells. Don't be concerned if your letter isn't perfect, as long as it's heartfelt.

Try to make your letter sound personal, one-of-a-kind, even if it will be mailed to several hundred friends. It takes time to write a "universal personal," but it's worth it. Don't send letters that sound cold and distant.

That's true. But, on the other hand, if you tell people exactly what you want, you might get your ideal job. Wouldn't that be better?

If you write a letter to your network, limit yourself to about 250 words. You can use Dale and Jonathan's letters as models or you can invent your own. If you do your own letter--and I recommend that--here are five steps you should take: